9.4.18: Let your mind wander, and make sure to write down the peaks and valleys of your journey. You are exploring new mental territories, and they demand being recorded and shared. Take heart if you experience writer’s block. Slow down and pace yourself through your cerebral landscape. The words may not come quickly, but they will be worth their weight in gold when they finally arrive. You are crafting a powerful message that the entire world needs to hear.
It’s right about one thing, the peaks and valleys! Every day has been a “what now?” since the kids graduated from high school about four years ago. You really never think they’ll grow up when you’re in the middle of it, or that you’ll grow up. Never picture getting out of that sleepless baby time, grade school, the sports, the milestones, the awards that are all now a blur in time. It’s like someone played 52 pick up with your life and the cards are all supposed to stack back up when it’s over (and you end up being 52 somewhere along the way).
That’s where I’ve been, finding some footing. In the meantime, I’m still a “mom,” as well as a wife and daughter. The first thing I did when I was close to 50 was to quit my job at the golf course to reinvent myself, I did not want to age in front of everyone. I worked in the pro shop, it was the perfect job for my schedule, my hobby, my co-workers were great. We did get a new GM that made my work life hell. He was the wrong kind of good ol’ boy, never stepping in to help only to criticize. That made my decision a lot easier.
When my youngest graduated from high school I thought I could find my dream job which was going to be flying for a regional airline. Mandatory retirement is 62 for pilots, I still had ten years in me. My husband wanted me to start the drone company for his business with my pilot’s license instead, so that’s the direction I headed with it. Now we have 2, 25 year olds replacing me. The drones were fun, it’s just that the physical part of the job sites were getting hard for me (think bathrooms). I also lost a drone in Costa Rica following my friend surfing while my spotter wasn’t spotting. It was kind of a humiliating experience all the way around, they all treated me like I didn’t know what I was doing after that. I left with broken ribs and no Hal 3, my purpose for being there was nil.
Now it’s time for new goals I guess. Scratch the regional pilot, now I’m too old. The one goal I did achieve was to get all my sailing certifications and buy a boat, so it’s not like I’ve been doing nothing in the meantime. Really, it’s time to re-group for sunset goals (gulp).
- Where do I eventually want to live?
- Logistically, where do I need to be for my mom?
- Do I even have anymore “hopes & dreams” in me?
Those are the top 3 right now…not to say I’ve been sitting around either, last week I had my 1st piano lesson in about 15 years hoping for my musical breakthrough. There still might be time for me to be a rock star? Haha. I skipped a Half Moon Bay sailing trip for a relaxing day on Angel Island hiking instead and was glad I did, it looked foggy and hectic. One of the things that’s for sure not on my bucket list is living on a boat to sail around the world and 5 knots. Love the boat, love sailing, love my bathtub when I’m done.