Hard Trip

This was supposed to be a trip to see if I could stay here and possibly enroll in their music program, our house is a few blocks from campus.  Instead, my son wants me to leave early because he’s so defiant.  I tip toe around him, can’t bring up work or school or I’m not being supportive of his golf.  He’s taken a year, he’s really good but in that year he hasn’t signed up for one tournament.

His problem isn’t his game, it’s his thinking.  This really isn’t much different from other millenials thinking there’s a gazillion dollars at the end of the rainbow for their minimal effort.  The latest is his game won’t be ready unless he lives in Europe, where he’ll be on the European tour.  Not going to try here, it’s just not going to happen until we somehow support him there??

When I golfed, I practiced every single day.  I’d drop the kids off at school, then hit the driving range.  If I could get in 9 holes, I would.  Once they got into 1st grade I could finally play 18 and join some groups.  Besides club champ, which for some reason I would miss by one stroke, it was hard for me to travel to a tournament.  One round the school called to say my oldest was sick, I put the phone down to get out of the sand trap, then finished the call and left by 9 holes to pick him up.  I could drive as far as the women on tour and coached for 2 years at the high school.

In that respect, it’s not a pipe dream for my son to want to play professionally.  He grew up at a golf course surrounded by pro’s.  He also did well in high school, we just didn’t focus on it that much.  I wanted it to be his, I never pressured him to the point of burn out.

This transition though is super frustrating.  Both boys did club volleyball with tournaments every weekend, it’s not like we’re unfamiliar with traveling and tournaments.  The way they grew up was learn to swim, OK, now compete.  My oldest played college volleyball on top teams.  We focused on my youngest getting a cochlear implant his senior year (his choice) and not golf.  It blew his chances of playing in college, along with the head of the league focused on being a prick not wanting any of the kids to succeed.  The coach that makes you want to quit the game is how this guy was, luckily not their team coach.

My son is just difficult, it’s his way or the highway.  He needs help to play in tournaments, we just lives so far from him now.  Most guys on tour have their own coach, sponsors, and at least a good friend to caddy for them.  I’ll say one thing about him, he’d be an awesome caddy.  He knows more about golf than anyone, he studies it non-stop.  He wants to play though and being stuck out here to figure it out on his own isn’t working.

That’s one of the reasons I thought I could come out and possibly just enroll in the music program.  Stay out here, take him to tournaments.  We’re like oil & water right now, he only wants help supporting him to tell him it’s OK not to go to school or work.

I have one son that’s making the transition to adulthood, working, graduated.  He has a grip on reality and money.  I don’t know how siblings can be so different?  I feel like a failure as a parent, I’m certainly not like that.  We’re both really self driven, I get as good as I can get at something with some pretty real expectations.

I did get a good come uppance yesterday about my piano playing.  I found a practice room at a music store where the woman in the room next to me blew me away.  Even writing, I’m reading a book written by a woman I know and her writing is amazing.  Another friend is writing a blog about her sailing adventure – I’m not worthy!!  Who knows?  Maybe my son does get it from me and I’m the one with the pipe dreams?

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