Plan B – Poof

After talking to a few people, reading a couple of books and a women’s wellness retreat I decided to continue blogging.  This one book I read was called “Show Your Work.”  It’s pretty short, but I did get some nuggets out of it that made me think it’s me not getting the word out as I should?  I’m hiding a little bit.  Still writing, just not posting anymore to re-group and see what I should be doing with this.

Another event that I went to as an introduction with an old friend was a personal development workshop.  I didn’t sign up that night, I keep thinking my summer is booked already.  I was telling the leader about the guy who just quit at work, who came in and basically stole my work to make it his own saying he was going to re-brand everything of mine.  She said, “When did you know?”  I said right away.  She asked if I said anything and I said, “No, I was just relieved someone had taken over my position.”  He worked there a year, she said “You could have saved everyone a year if you would have spoken up.”

Then we talked about how I’m usually the person behind the person, making someone else shine.  She said, “What would it look like if you were the one who shined?”  Hmmm, never thought of it.

Let me talk about the friend who brought me to this personal development seminar…he just moved to Manhattan Beach and I’m so excited to re-connect.  I met him when we were 19, I was dating his best friend.  My xBF was from West LA, he was from 90210 with a very interesting background – some of which was still unfolding at that time.  Without saying too much, I eventually dumped the BF and always kept him as a friend.  We never officially dated, he was very loyal to the “bro code.”  We did do a lot together still, then he took off and got married.

Of course I did the same, not meant to be.  About 10 years ago he moved back to LA and we went for a lengthy lunch to catch up, it was really nice.  Since then we’ve mostly stayed in touch through FB.  Then he told me he moved to my hometown!!  I’m here now, finally got to see him again then go to this introduction with him.  My husband knows all about him, I haven’t said much to my friends down here.

Anyhow, we were supposed to get together the next day so he could see my mom and he was running really late with his daughter.  In the meantime, my former sister-in-law wanted me to see the house she was building then walk down for sunset to the beach.  They’re both single, I mentioned that to her that I wanted them to meet.  When he got back, I went ahead and invited him to come with to see the house.

That worked!!  They totally clicked!!  My last attempt at a set up was such a disaster I promised never again.  At the womens retreat one of the single women from Newport was telling me she does on-line then even tried a match maker at $25k that hasn’t delivered.

That night I was psyched that they hit it off so well, amazed at the timing of it all.  Now I’m a little hung over from it, maybe I always kind of thought the timing and luck was never right for us but he’d be my plan B?  That won’t work if it’s my former SIL!!  Well, and the fact I’m married.  I felt like the time we got a puppy when we were kids and she was all mine and only loved me until my brother came home to see her.  This friend was “mine” from a pocket in time we totally helped each other through, including a break up where we remained friends.  Now he’s unleashed to my family and likes my former SIL “more.”

Which BTW is the story of my life.  My IL’s have always been superior, they stayed down here to raise their kids.  Had the beautiful house they bought from my IL’s before prices went crazy.  Now the new GF treats that house as hers, we’re guests of hers now.  In that respect, I felt bad for my SIL and thought she should meet my friend.  It certainly makes me feel better that my BIL is with this GF in the house that they raised their family in, where my SIL is solo.

We walked to the beach, showing him the house she grew up in along with another house her sister just bought.  I was all aboard with that, I wanted him to see she could hold her own and he wouldn’t have to worry about a gold digger.  Instead, it made me look like the poor girl from East of Sepulveda and she was the classy girl who grew up a block from the beach.  The car I drove us down there with was my mom’s ’92 Camry.

On the other hand, if it works out he’s now again part of our family.  Honestly, I was pretty psyched they hit it off and I AM married.  Just a weird feeling, a tad jealous I guess?

He comes over on Monday to see my mom.  His mom died in a car accident when he was a teen, I met him shortly after that.  During our friendship my then boyfriend’s mom passed away.  I sat with the family, my mom sat with him while he just held her and sobbed.  We’re like family, that was a very rough time.  Also fun!  We were Hollywood kids in the ’80’s.

Now we’re in our mid-50’s in chapter whatever.  I think about back then and that comment, “What would it look like if you put yourself first?”  I’ll have to apply that to my future instead.  I might start working or selling some of my stuff again, I’m living the life of a 70 year old man.  Not quite ready to do that yet, I still have some kick in me.

And really, this is better overall.  It’s a lot like the puppy incident though, I gotta admit.

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