Just writing out loud today, thinking of the pros & cons of getting a studio. I’ve been thinking about it for awhile, wondering if it would kick my butt into action for finally putting together some things I’ve done. My company, GrandView Services, has been sitting dormant when the FAA opened it up and you don’t need a pilot’s license to fly drones anymore. It’s still getting money from Bay Area Bike Share.
We have a small room in the house that’s my office now, that is somewhat of a disaster. It’s a sewing room/office and no matter how hard I try it’s always cluttered with mail to shred. It has a nice view, then the buzzer goes off for the laundry or something and it seems like there’s always something pressing.
The only reason I’m bringing this up is that it’s now or never, an ideal space came up overlooking the marina and Bay Bridge to San Francisco. Super bright, private (which worries me at night with the homeless invasion). Maybe I could have my own work space without spending most of the time shredding or thinking I should get those dishes done – basically stalling.
These morning writes are while I’m sipping coffee, starting my day. Today is putting a newsletter together, one thing for sure is I don’t want to use it for volunteer work where I’m paying to work. Not sure where the best creative space is for me? Or if I’m still even creative at all, or just a tired old lady.
The docks are being re-done, one thing I did offer up was to drone the re-model of the docks and they seemed interested. The last few days was hurry up and wait to move the boat to a temporary dock, which was when I discovered the office space. The temp dock was still occupied the first day, luckily the guy who went back to his new dock then came over to help me with lines to move my boat.
If I don’t get out of there by 3p it’s commuter traffic nightmare, even by 3p it’s bad. That kind of squashed the dream right there, when I was working for the drone startup and bike share the traffic got old really quick. Even if you hang out until 8p there’s STILL traffic.
Then my H & I went to dinner, where I told him the commute was too much. He said he had decided against it anyway. I don’t know why, but a little dream inside of me died when he said that? Yes, I was being totally unrealistic (and yes, I’m pretty spoiled), but IDK? For some reason there’s still part of me that if I had my own little creative space I’d flourish. Maybe that’s just a pipe dream, similar to my dad’s dreams? Unrealistic.
I had kids right before my friends careers took off, and I worked harder than any of them – but I stepped out of the game and never caught my footing again. My H is on the other side of that, did really well and ready to call it a well deserved day.
The most logical thing for me to do is get a captain’s license and do charters. There’s only one problem, my back 🙁 I’m physically limited, even sailing solo. If I lift something or pull a line, I pay for it later. Doing OK now after taking the time last week to ice/heat with a few Aleve back pills. Haven’t started running again yet, long walks and a swim.
Will I be OK if I never really achieved anything in life? “Here lies Heller…???”
Alright, I gotta move on from this and charge my camera.