Salmon Dinners

Boy do I have a lot of fish!  The next day my friend said the fish count was zero, our boat at least everyone caught one & I had beginners luck with two!  Makes store bought tasteless,  like when I first had a tomato from Ojai and tasted a tomato for the first time.

I brought some over to my friend J after his 2nd chemo treatment.  That’s just so hard 🙁  They came over Memorial Day to see the boys right before he got REALLY sick.  We did our social distancing brunch, since then I’ve been txt’ing him pics of him with my boys over the years and occasionally he’ll “like” one.  He’s been really sick and unable to get back to anyone.  When he “liked” my fishing trip on FB I asked his W if we could bring dinner over.

That day I spent the whole day cooking and making ice cream for them.  The same day, my friend C sent me the nicest card with pics of me with her baby.  She was the one I went to help with the baby in Seattle as “grandma” since her parents have passed on.  She’s also the one I went to Mexico with for the baby’s first birthday in March, and came home to the shutdown news on March 7th at LAX.  I feel so lucky to have had those experiences with her and bringing her daughter into the world instead of everyone seeming to leave the world lately.

Not to be a downer, certainly this has been an emotional roller coaster the past few days (weeks/months/all of 2020).  The gym somewhat opened, at least my favorite part of it which is the pool.  You can’t share a lane and you make an appointment with you app, which I actually like more than just showing up and taking your chances.

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In an effort to have a “normal” day, we went to my favorite cafe that just opened again to sit outside before my swim appointment.  It happens to be in front of the police department, so instead of relaxing, protesters were shouting to de-fund violent police.  I just started crying, this whole shelter in place and protests (looting really, not the protests) has been so stressful and I just wanted to relax and have a latte free of everything besides some healing thoughts for my friend J who has no idea what has gone on since Memorial Day besides battling for his life.

You never know what people are going through, as much as I’d like to save the world I feel like I have enough on my plate to just help my friends with their crisis’s.  C has had a tough time with this shelter in place being a single mom, we’ve had many phone calls talking her off the ledge… and then J.  I’m spent.

C sent me this the other day, I had sent it to her in a txt last March 2019 while I was driving up when her baby was born – reminding me of better times.  It’s also the song that came on before getting out of the car at the hospital when my oldest was born.

From there I got to swim my blues away and felt SO GOOD.  You can’t go indoors at the gym (which is fine with me). I went to my car and drove home to dry off in the backyard.  Finally relaxed, there’s a turkey with her babies that were in the yard and I just watched them before hopping in the shower.  That brought a smile to my face, usually when I sit in my backyard everyones leaf blowers are going off, it was just me with the baby turkeys that are adorable.

My MO in crisis mode is to power through, seemingly calm, then something sets me off when it’s close to over and I fall apart.  COVID isn’t over, at least we can choose if we’d like to keep a distance or dive into a crowded place and not be forced to stay home.

During my turkey meditation, if one leaf blower would have gone off that might have been the end of me.

 

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